As a couples therapist, I see a huge uptick in requests for couples therapy around big political events, especially around elections. We’re all used to the idea that political conversations can erupt into big fights with family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors but many people are surprised when they can’t talk to their own spouse/partner about...
You don’t always have to agree with your partner to show respect and care. Validation is about seeing and acknowledging another person’s feelings, even if you don’t feel the same way. For example: “I get why you’d be upset about that.” “That makes a lot of sense.” “I can see why you feel that way.”...
I see a common pattern in my couples therapy practice: A couple comes in after YEARS of struggling, and they say, “I wish we had done this sooner.” FACT: On average, couples with relationship problems wait 6 years before seeking help. This stat – from the world renowned Gottman Institute – is one of the...
Did you know that roughly 30% of couples who seek therapy have a “mixed agenda”? This means one of you wants to save the relationship, while the other is unsure and thinking about leaving. What does this look like in couples therapy? Basically, one person is there to try and make it work (the “leaning...
You know those ‘perfect couples’ you see on social media? They’re lying. Underneath the perfect online appearance are many arguments and passive-aggressive comments to get on the same page (at least long enough to appear perfect, haha!). Problem-solving is one of the toughest challenges for most couples. But there’s no way to avoid this important...
You’ve made it to your golden years and just retired from work! You’ve worked your butt off for decades, contributed your talents to your community, raised kids, planned and saved. You’ve tended to your marriage and made it through years, even decades of joys and struggles. Now, you’re ready to relax, travel, visit the kids...
Ever get that feeling that a normal conversation just became an argument in the blink of an eye? It’s like, one moment you’re driving down the road fully in control of your car and the next you’ve found yourself in a deep ditch with no idea how you landed there! To be clear, EVERY relationship...
Yes, it’s possible to use date night as a chance to learn more about yourselves and actually improve the health of your relationship! As nerdy as it might sound, it’s a great way to be proactive and build up relationship capital that can pay off for years to come. Here are 5 fun and simple...
Couples therapy is one of the most valuable investments you’ll make for your relationship. Don’t let your investment or time go to waste! Here are 5 ways to squeeze the most value out of your couples therapy. These tips are based on my observations over many years as a licensed couples therapist of the couples...
Couples therapy can be a powerful tool for strengthening relationships and resolving conflicts. However, it’s not a magic bullet! Many couples experience what are known as “false starts.” These are periods of initial enthusiasm followed by a decline in session attendance or engagement. Think of it as the annual “January gym effect” but for couples...
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