I see a common pattern in my couples therapy practice: A couple comes in after YEARS of struggling, and they say, “I wish we had done this sooner.” FACT: On average, couples with relationship problems wait 6 years before seeking help. This stat – from the world renowned Gottman Institute – is one of the...
Did you know that roughly 30% of couples who seek therapy have a “mixed agenda”? This means one of you wants to save the relationship, while the other is unsure and thinking about leaving. What does this look like in couples therapy? Basically, one person is there to try and make it work (the “leaning...
Couples therapy is one of the most valuable investments you’ll make for your relationship. Don’t let your investment or time go to waste! Here are 5 ways to squeeze the most value out of your couples therapy. These tips are based on my observations over many years as a licensed couples therapist of the couples...
Couples therapy can be a powerful tool for strengthening relationships and resolving conflicts. However, it’s not a magic bullet! Many couples experience what are known as “false starts.” These are periods of initial enthusiasm followed by a decline in session attendance or engagement. Think of it as the annual “January gym effect” but for couples...
I love helping people. So much so that my entire career has been built upon being a helping professional. However, those of us in the helping professions (at least in America) aren’t able to help others well making a stable living due to severe systemic failures in our healthcare system and outright exploitation by health...
Now that you’ve read Part I on being burned by therapy… Here are the common reasons I’ve heard from clients over the years about being burned by therapy. Obviously, this list can’t possibly cover EVERY reason someone may have been burned by therapy (and therefore may not represent your own experiences). This is simply based...
I hear it all the time. Story after story from folks who contact me because they need therapy help but are super hesitant to move forward and schedule a first session – let alone several sessions after that (assuming we “gel”) because they’ve been burned by a past therapist. With many years of experience helping...
One partner is adamant about starting couples counseling while the other is against it. This is super common! Handling this depends on the underlying reason behind the resistance to couples therapy. The most common ones I’ve seen fall into 3 categories. Lack of Knowledge One common reason for not wanting to attend couples counseling is...
Couples therapy works best when you and your partner each begin the process ready to “look in the mirror.” People often contact me eager and ready to begin couples therapy in order to change their relationship for the better! Even over the phone or through email, I can hear that many of these people are...
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