Marriages and long-term relationships (LTRs) are both built and broken by thousands of small acts.
It’s the seemingly insignificant daily interactions that, when accumulated, shape the course of a relationship.
Like droplets forming a river, these small moments collectively determine whether a relationship becomes a sturdy vessel capable of weathering life’s storms or a fragile craft easily swept away by adversity.
People may think that marriages and LTRs end over affairs, fights over money, parenting differences, or substance abuse. And it’s true, they absolutely do!
But it’s more often the small acts that build up over time, grain by grain, until a “final straw moment” happens.
(More on “ final straw moments” in Why Couples Divorce.)
It’s the small arguments, unkept promises, and lack of attention that kill a relationship over time.
Think about your past few days with your partner and all of the microlevel interactions you two had:
- Did you SAY THANK YOU when your partner stopped to pick up groceries even though their work day was shitty and their energy tank was on empty?
- Did you GET DEFENSIVE when your partner asked you why you still hadn’t made that vet appointment yet for the dog?
- Did you APOLOGIZE for your harsh tone the morning that you were anxiously rushing out the door and running late for an appointment?
- When you reached out to cuddle before nodding off to sleep, did you get an ICY FEELING because your partner just kept scrolling on their phone and didn’t seem to care that you were reaching out for affection?
- Did you REALLY LISTEN when they complained about their obnoxious coworker even though you’ve heard a hundred stories about Brent already?
- Did you show interest SHOW INTEREST when your partner sent you a random article and asked for your thoughts?
Also read Part 2 where I show you how to reverse this trend and revive your relationship through slow, consistent acts.
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